Mix emotions

Seriously, at this point, this moment, this very instant, im feeling happy, sad, confuse, angry all at the same time. Firstly, my lappie is giving me probs again. I cant even listen to songs cause apparently theres somthing wrong with my audio configuration. Besides that, the scroll section on my touch pad aint working. Before i send my lappie to reformat, everything was working perfectly fine except it was kinda slow due to the virus. Worst of all, now i cant even sign into my msn!!..=( ..so yea...im piss piss piss!!!...

Ok, for the confuse part, its basicaly about someone or should i say "several someones"..One of them is a memory which i could not let go for a very long time..i guess its due to the fact that i was the one who chose to end that relationship..reason?..well..that..i will keep it to myself..I noe that i shoudnt be bringing this up after such a long time cause its pointless, but once and for all, i just wanna open up to everyone a little more bout myself. The truth was, i did regret breaking up cause he was the first person, actually the only person i truly like. And when i found out he had move on, i was really upset and mad at the same time. We werent even friends at that time, and for some reason, i hated him. But then i realize, whats the point of hating him when the truth is, i was the one who chose this path. And the girl was really really a nice person. Seriously, she was. She was pretty, kind, friendly, bubbly and overall perfect. The only thing i was dissapointed was how could he have move on so fast?..i know he would eventually, but i just didnt expect so quickly. As im writting this post, i do feel more at ease. This would be the first time im actually talking bout my past, one of my dark secrets which i swore to myself never ever to reveal. I guess i was scared of what people might think and say or say behind my back when the truth is out. I was also scared of what my friends would think, how stupid i was? how pathetic i am?.. But now, i dont really care anymore and its not due to the fact that im leaving penang. Its more of a way for me to finally move on, a way of letting go and just letting out this feeling which i had all this while. Its also because of him, that i wasnt able to open up my heart to anyone else. Nobody came as perfect as him to me. ( u all must be wondering what i see in him..call me stupid..call me blind..i woudnt tell..but there are..and one day in my blog, i might just blog it out..) If u ask me right now, do i still have feelings for him, well honestly i still do slightly. But im starting to move on cause thats what i should have done all this while instead of burrying it down inside of me and waiting for a miracle to happened. One day, if YOU ever read this post, i would like to tell you that you really made a very big impact on my life, i know we only together for less than 3 months, but the fact is u did. I wish you all the best in yout future plans. Peace out..^^

Now u all must be wondering who the "several someones" are right?..well, if you haven't notice, my style is not to review who him or they are, i wanna share a part of me with u all, but not everything..lol..ok well, i do have a slight crush on a couple of "him's"..i noe i sound damm play right now, but hey.its just a crush..dont think it will become anything serious either cause im leaving so dont think i really got the chance to find out if "him's" have a crush on me too..lol..

I bet u guys should know the sad part..so dont think its necessary for me to elaborate any further..

Last but not least, the happy emotion!..The only thing im really looking forward at the moment is the KL and Pangkor trip with my dearest friends..Von...Ping..Colin and Shaun..^^ cant wait..=D..

Im glad that im finaly able to really let it all out..and i appologize to all my close friends cause i wasnt able to tell u guys about it..i just wasnt ready at that time..