Yesterday

It was suppose to be the best day..

A day i would remember for a life time..memories which i will carry along with me whenever i go..

The day..

Started out great..went to watch "wanted" with LST..was kinda disappointed with the movie though..i expected greatness..but somehow all the stunts were just to fake..however the story line was not too bad..there were twist to the truth..^^

After the movie..met up with Ping and Woen..den we headed of to the beach for bbq..played jet ski with Grace..fun fun fun..=) Had to leave early for my family dinner..miss granny so much..she gave me an ang pow..my uncle gave me some money too!..=D..

The night..

We all decided to hit the clubs once again..since most were in the clubbing mood..was having fun at first..but slowly the emo period set in again..tried really hard to forget about all my issues and problems and also the fact that it might be my last night seeing them in a long time..somehow I just couldn't.."it" got worst when the dance floor in mois was crowded by people which makes the whole club even hotter..so..i decided to leave mois and christ suggested we head for glo instead..cause it was much cooler there..had some drinks from LST's friends..felt much better at that point..

But once again.."it" set in again..and i end up acting like a complete jerk..=S..

The place...

After having supper at Subaidah with friends..we headed up to Tanjung Bungah Hotel..
We chat and talk about the good old times..although i didn't really join in..wasn't in the mood..but there were still some amusing parts..lol..

But it was when i talk to my friend..that i completely lose it..felt like a complete jerk..I'm really sorry to all of you who were affected by it..an act that i would never forgive myself..

This 2 weeks have been a tense week for me..it could have turn out different..but for the first time ever..i could not hide what i felt..usually I'm good at sucking everything in..but somehow i just couldn't..

But i do hope all my friends remember me as that fun..happy-go lucky person..i don't mean to be " perasan "..and forget about how strangely I've acted this 2 weeks..[ i bet this is the first time anyone ever seen me being so "strange " before ]..

Thanks to Ping too for all your advise and being there to listen to all my problems..sorry if u had to listen to it all night long..but all this while..i couldn't open up..and when i finally could..i just had alot to say..you had wanted me to know the answer so that i could move on..you had wanted to help me ask..but thank god I didn't do it..after hearing the last bit of my "story"..you concluded that i should just act like nothing happened and move on with my life..and also to hold on to this friendship which is so much more important than getting to know the answer..as you had convinced me..in the end..i did gain something..it might not be for long..but even for a moment..that's satisfying enough..you told me to be satisfied and i will be..=)

Thanks to Von too..u understand how i felt..and yes..a miracle is what i had hope for..but I'm a person who doesn't believe in miracles nor a fairy tale ending..this world is too cruel..and as i said "KARMA"...there are some bits and pieces i haven't told you about..and i will..don't worry i definitely will when i have the time to..=)..So for now..i want you to be happy too..don't be sad that I'm leaving..cause hey..i will be back before you know it..^^..and don't be sad about that matter any more..it might be very hard to let go..but you will eventually..

So..I've finally end the chapter of my emo period..today i will be who i was all along..the person you all have came to known.

Sorry

Cindy, Chia Chyn, Janke..

Im really really sorry that i ppk u guys this morning..sigh..

Seriously ashame of myself for not being able to wake up to meet up with you guys..

Im sorry..but whatever it is..i must meet up with you guys before i leave..

Sorry again..

The truth will prevail

Longing to know the truth..
Curiosity really kills...
I admit..I'm ego..
I've tried so hard to prevent myself from liking you more than just a friend..
But I guess this is karma..some sort of punishment from god..
I've never like anyone for a very long time..
And i was happy with my life the way it was..
Until you came along..
You always put a smile on my face..
Just your presence is comforting enough..
Why did you treat me so well at times?..why??..
Why did your actions made me feel special??
I was seriously blinded..
I couldn't differentiate fantasy and reality..
I only see what i wanted to see..
But now..its quite clear to me..
you treat all your friends the same way..
you are a good guy..a good friend..
But i just couldn't understand some of your actions?..
And it was because of this actions..
That as time pass by..i started to slowly fall for you..
I cared for you more than just a friend...
Guess this isn't important anymore..
I've really tried to forget about all this and just go on with my life..
But the more i try..the more emo i get..
And the worst part is I'm leaving next mon..
No doubt..i know its pointless to tell you..
But I know i must..i just must before i leave..



This post has nothing to do with my previous post..so don't try to link them together..it is 2 different matter..

Clubbing

Sorry for the late updates..

Well, last saturday, went clubbing with my friends again..ping..von..grace
met up with more friends at the club..this might actually be my last time in a long time that i would have the chance to club again..unless i decide to hit the club this week..

Was at glo..then to moise..then back to glo again cause moise closes early..had fun though especially in moise..was really surprise to see su yang there too..he was like a boy high on drugs..dancing like nobody's business and he even unbutton his shirt!..shocking!..lol..

After all the partying, we headed for supper at dobhy gaut also know as "sepo kiu"..talk and talk till it was 5 stg in the morning..ping and grace overnight at my house..and we had hours of girl talk..^^..found out a little more about each other and realize that we were actually very much alike..[ you know, i know ^^] .. but i was really glad that at last i was able to open up to them..didn't intend to but somehow it just seem like the right time..

All i ask for now is an answer....peace out..

KL & Pangkor trip

3 days 2 nights,



2 days KL. 1 day Pangkor...

Me, Von, Ping, Colin and Shaun started our road trip to KL about 6.30am...we intended to sleep in the car on the way there, but somehow, we couldn't..we were wide awake the whole journey there..by the time we reach KL, i dunno bout the guys, but for the girls, we were super duper tired..but still..the plan got to continue..

So, firstly, we went to Shaun's grandpa's house..next we pick Ling Yi up from Taylor's college and headed to Jon's place..

Later on, Ling Yi's friends drop by Jon's place to join us..we ended up going to Sunway Pyramid for food and SHOPPING!!..pity the guys..they had to follow the girls to shop..after that we went home for dinner..Jon's mom is really really a good cook..she cook fried rice and curry chicken for us..i only ate the curry cause i wasn't that curry..and my my my..it was so good!..the best i ever had..seriously..=)

That night, me, von and ping turn in early, too exhausted. 3 of us cramp onto a queen size bed..or so it was suppose to just be the 3 of us..in the middle of the night..shaun suddenly came onto the bed and further make the cramping even worst..=.=..

The next morning, me and ping woke up very early..couldn't really sleep comfortably..but we went back to sleep later on..basically, i was waking up every half hour due to movement, noise and the cold air cond..

That day, we went to midvalley for more shopping..=)..poor thing for the guys again..if u just see their faces..sorry guys...After that, we went to giant( i think its giant..=S) to buy liquor..end up buying a bottle of absolute vodka rasberry flavour to drink at night..

That night, we played card games by the pool side while drinking the vodka..we also swim in the pool for a while thanks to the guard =.=..he didn't allow us to swim cause apparently it was too late..so we continued with our game and more drinking. Everyone ended up a bit tipsy , only Ling Yi and Shaun were still normal..Jon puke and literally slept on the ground..he couldn't really stand up..Von couldn't really walk properly ( she obviously couldn't walk in a straight line)..Colin, well i dunno about him, but he just didn't seem " normal " to me..lol..while Ping was abit tipsy..she told me herself too..said that she was a little dizzy at the same time..and for me..i puke 3 times..thanks to all the gas in my stomach..was too hungry before i started drinking..sigh..but it was still the best night though out of the whole trip..=D

The next day, we wanted to start out early to Pangkor, but sadly, we couldn't wake up..so ended up leaving KL in the afternoon bout 12 stg to 1..By the time we reach Pangkor, it was already 5 stg. We had nasi kampung which was absolutely delicious, maybe its cause we were too hungry. Then, we rented bicycles for RM3 per hour and rode around the roads..lastly we went for canoing..it was really really fun..had difficulties moving at first, but me and ping soon learn the tactic..^^ Now comes the stupid part, me and ping decided to change places..=.=..and the worst was we did it in the middle of the sea..=.=we thought that the canoe was very stable because shaun had earlier said that it would not overturn..but my my..it did..and guess what, we fell into the sea..but luckily, we had life jackets on and we could swim..so we swam back to shore..wanted to save the canoe but it was filled with water..sooooo..screw the canoe and safe ourselves!!!!!!..=D..after that, we went to buy ikan billies, he bi etc..we took the last ferry back to lumut and headed home..

Here are some pictures of the whole trip:

[model: Lim Shaun Jin]

[model: Colin Goh]

[colin helping von with her bags]

[weird sunshades..dunno how its gona block out the light with all those holes in it..=.=]

[Ling Yi teaching the guys how to wear that bare-back top..what can i say...guys got no clue bout woman's clothing.]

[Mi..Re..Do...=D]

[acting like kids..]

[this is the reason why me and ping nearly frost to death..=.=]

[that's what the guys do when we girls are shopping..pity them..=P]

[detachable colar?..lol..]

[sorry shaun..but u were our manequin..haha..this was what we were all laughing about btw..=D]

[gaying around..thats shaun and colin btw..i have gay frens..haha]

[me and von..=)]

[jan and ping...=)]

[ The people who made the whole trip fun & interesting ...=)]

I wanna appologize to everyone cause i was kind of emo during a certain time...i've never acted this way before but somethings were just too much to handle..coudnt suck it in anymore..sorry if you guys got worried..

The kid in me

Another great day at gym...

Gym is the only place i can really be a kid again..somehow it brings the really really FUN side out of me..i guess its also due to the fact that i have lst and christ as my gym buddies..lst really makes me act like a freaking lunatic..and I'm not exaggerating it..seriously i can do unimaginable stuff..

Example:

- we would race ourselves to christ's car just to get the front seat ( it happened at raffe)

- we would play with the fitness ball at the gym, throwing it at each other, using it as balls to kick around ( there's a video in christ's blog about us playing with the ball and acting like complete idiots.......im not proud of it )

- we would push each other to bang the wall ( lst started it btw, i just couldn't help but attack back, i call it, self-defense..lol)..

So i guess it can be concluded that the only sane one among us 3 is christ..that's right..christ tan..

but..but..but..she do have her "FUN" moments too..and my my..its worst then any of our "fun" moments..haha..reason?..she would laugh hysterically to herself..NON-STOP!..it can go on and on and on forever..i do have a video of her doing so..but sadly..she disallow me to post it up..sigh..

Presenting the orange duo:

Looks like they are trying to camouflage with the wall. Notice..the wall is orange in colour too!..=D Or are they wearing what we call COUPLE TEE???.JOKING JOKING!..If u are reading this christ..i said JOKING..

Attention-------- LST and CHRIST are NOT together..i repeat NOT together..just wanted to kacao them thats all..=P...

Mix emotions

Seriously, at this point, this moment, this very instant, im feeling happy, sad, confuse, angry all at the same time. Firstly, my lappie is giving me probs again. I cant even listen to songs cause apparently theres somthing wrong with my audio configuration. Besides that, the scroll section on my touch pad aint working. Before i send my lappie to reformat, everything was working perfectly fine except it was kinda slow due to the virus. Worst of all, now i cant even sign into my msn!!..=( ..so yea...im piss piss piss!!!...

Ok, for the confuse part, its basicaly about someone or should i say "several someones"..One of them is a memory which i could not let go for a very long time..i guess its due to the fact that i was the one who chose to end that relationship..reason?..well..that..i will keep it to myself..I noe that i shoudnt be bringing this up after such a long time cause its pointless, but once and for all, i just wanna open up to everyone a little more bout myself. The truth was, i did regret breaking up cause he was the first person, actually the only person i truly like. And when i found out he had move on, i was really upset and mad at the same time. We werent even friends at that time, and for some reason, i hated him. But then i realize, whats the point of hating him when the truth is, i was the one who chose this path. And the girl was really really a nice person. Seriously, she was. She was pretty, kind, friendly, bubbly and overall perfect. The only thing i was dissapointed was how could he have move on so fast?..i know he would eventually, but i just didnt expect so quickly. As im writting this post, i do feel more at ease. This would be the first time im actually talking bout my past, one of my dark secrets which i swore to myself never ever to reveal. I guess i was scared of what people might think and say or say behind my back when the truth is out. I was also scared of what my friends would think, how stupid i was? how pathetic i am?.. But now, i dont really care anymore and its not due to the fact that im leaving penang. Its more of a way for me to finally move on, a way of letting go and just letting out this feeling which i had all this while. Its also because of him, that i wasnt able to open up my heart to anyone else. Nobody came as perfect as him to me. ( u all must be wondering what i see in him..call me stupid..call me blind..i woudnt tell..but there are..and one day in my blog, i might just blog it out..) If u ask me right now, do i still have feelings for him, well honestly i still do slightly. But im starting to move on cause thats what i should have done all this while instead of burrying it down inside of me and waiting for a miracle to happened. One day, if YOU ever read this post, i would like to tell you that you really made a very big impact on my life, i know we only together for less than 3 months, but the fact is u did. I wish you all the best in yout future plans. Peace out..^^

Now u all must be wondering who the "several someones" are right?..well, if you haven't notice, my style is not to review who him or they are, i wanna share a part of me with u all, but not everything..lol..ok well, i do have a slight crush on a couple of "him's"..i noe i sound damm play right now, but hey.its just a crush..dont think it will become anything serious either cause im leaving so dont think i really got the chance to find out if "him's" have a crush on me too..lol..

I bet u guys should know the sad part..so dont think its necessary for me to elaborate any further..

Last but not least, the happy emotion!..The only thing im really looking forward at the moment is the KL and Pangkor trip with my dearest friends..Von...Ping..Colin and Shaun..^^ cant wait..=D..

Im glad that im finaly able to really let it all out..and i appologize to all my close friends cause i wasnt able to tell u guys about it..i just wasnt ready at that time..